Parent conferences are a way to create a connection between the school and the parent and to share the progress of the child: academically, socially, and behaviorally.
Discuss what you do personally to prepare the students for conferences, to prepare the parents for conferences, and what you do, as a teacher, to prepare for each child's conference.
Share with your classmates the best conference you have ever had with parents, and also discuss the worst conference you have had with parents. What made the first situation successful? And what made the latter situation unsuccessful? Was there anything you could have done to make the latter situation better, and if so, did you implement it the next time?
Preparing students for parent/teacher conferences is a way to keep the students informed. You should explain to them why you have conferences and what will be discussed. The book says to let the students do a self-evaluation. This helps students review themselves as students and they should be able to do an honest evaluation, even if they don’t they still can see where they need to improve. The students should be setting goals for themselves and how they are going to achieve those goals. This should be shared with the parents. Another thing you should do is let the student pick out one assignment or art project that they are very proud of to show to their parents at the conference. This gives them a sense of accomplishment and will hopefully make their parents proud.
ReplyDeletePreparing parents for the conference should be simple. You should have already had many positive dealings with them so talking with them should be easy. However, if you have not had many positive interactions or any interactions at all, make sure you contact them by phone or email or note home about the upcoming conference and what time they are scheduled for. Also, make sure you receive conformation back from the parents that they received the message about the conference. Be positive in any situation.
Getting yourself prepared can sometimes be difficult, depending upon the student and/or the parents. Make sure you are well organized and have an outline of things you are going to discuss more so you make sure you hit the important facts. The book says to provide data about their child’s progress academically as well as behaviorally. Parents do like to see facts when talking about their child. If it’s not in black and white then it didn’t happen. Make sure you have some positive things to say about their child. Keep things friendly and comfortable. This is a time for you to talk about their concerns as well. Be a good listener and keep it positive. Come up with solutions together. Also, the book says to sit at a round table if possible and provide refreshments.
Pretty much all of the conferences I did went okay. I was new and didn’t have much to talk about with the parents as far as academics were concerned. I did have the students do an art/writing project that I shared with them. I also made a video of the students doing karaoke at their Valentine’s Day party that I showed to the parents. I talked to them about upcoming events and activities that I was planning. Everything went good and I offered the parents an opportunity to share any concerns that they had. Some had some and we worked them out together.
ReplyDeleteOne horrible experience that I had was not a “scheduled” conference. I had given an eighth grade student a detention for something inappropriate he did at recess. School uniform policy is that all shirts must be tucked in. I told him to tuck his shirt in. He proceeded to run his mouth about the devil and un-tucked shirts when he finally tucked his shirt in. Not a big deal but then he left his hand down the middle of his pants for an extended period of time and then went to one of my female students trying to shake her hand. That was it for me. So he received a detention and his parents were notified. This resulted in his not being able to go on the eighth grade class trip to Chicago. Of course he did nothing wrong and was only tucking in his shirt so a few days later, his parents barged into my room and told me that their son did nothing wrong and he wasn’t serving his detention. I was at my desk and I got up and put more distance between us and started talking back loudly. It was ugly and I kicked them out of my room. The dad said, “For a Christian School you’re not real Christian-like”. I responded with, “yeah, for a Christian school it was real Christian-like what your son did”.
Well, that really did not go good and I was very angry. I thought that chairs were going to start flying and I probably would have been the one to start it had they not left. What I should have done when they stormed into my room was to defuse the situation in a calm manner. I should have told them that we could talk about this with the principal but we need to schedule a time. This would have given me a chance to be prepared and have a plan of what I would say and how I could say it calmly. I also would not have been alone and would have had support from my principal. He knew everything that had happened and supported me.
Overall, it was a great learning experience that I went through. Being freshly out of college and “young”, I didn’t know much. I think that now I would have been able to handle that so much better. Anyways, I bet that kid is in jail.
Emily,
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are able to look at the situation in your post as a learning experience. I think I am learning new things every day in the position I hold at the school. Sometimes it is hard to let things go and I dwell on them too much. I am slowly learning some ways of the social class that I work with; all of it is not so positive. I know that tucking in your shirt is a task that most of our students do not agree with. On a daily basis, we are saying “tuck in your shirt”, “where is your belt?”, “why are you not in class?” Most of the students comply, but the select few that don’t really give the newbies a hard time. I have found if you remain calm and don’t give in they usually do what they are told. I have followed a student for a short time until they complied and they didn’t like the extra attention. Some of the students do ask why and my standard reply has been, “ It is a rule and we have had rules since the beginning of time. Ms. O has to tuck in her shirt, wear a belt, and follow the rules too. I have been talked to about a couple of dress code issues and I do what I am told.” I want to tell you that I would have been quite defensive in a situation like you described. Our first reaction is fight or flight. I probably wouldn’t have handled it any other way. I have learned from your experience and hope to keep on learning.
One of my new jobs is to take some of the students to the nurse to take their medication in the morning because they are unable to walk back to the room without being disruptive. They resent me for this because they don’t like the extra attention from their peers. I have told them that if it goes well for a few weeks that maybe they will get another chance.
I haven’t dealt with too many experiences in older children, but one incident in my childcare days stands out in my mind. I was in a room with toddlers and on a daily basis one of the children was being bitten. The problem was it wasn’t only one child doing the biting, it was about four and we knew who they were, but we couldn’t isolate when or what was causing it. The parent got pretty angry and went over our supervisor to the board which immediately got our backs up. We had to go to classes and set up a plan of action. I was pretty upset, but it made me more aware of situations and made me work harder at doing my job. This was a learning experience for me.
Emily,
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are able to look at the situation in your post as a learning experience. I think I am learning new things every day in the position I hold at the school. Sometimes it is hard to let things go and I dwell on them too much. I am slowly learning some ways of the social class that I work with; all of it is not so positive. I know that tucking in your shirt is a task that most of our students do not agree with. On a daily basis, we are saying “tuck in your shirt”, “where is your belt?”, “why are you not in class?” Most of the students comply, but the select few that don’t really give the newbies a hard time. I have found if you remain calm and don’t give in they usually do what they are told. I have followed a student for a short time until they complied and they didn’t like the extra attention. Some of the students do ask why and my standard reply has been, “ It is a rule and we have had rules since the beginning of time. Ms. O has to tuck in her shirt, wear a belt, and follow the rules too. I have been talked to about a couple of dress code issues and I do what I am told.” I want to tell you that I would have been quite defensive in a situation like you described. Our first reaction is fight or flight. I probably wouldn’t have handled it any other way. I have learned from your experience and hope to keep on learning.
One of my new jobs is to take some of the students to the nurse to take their medication in the morning because they are unable to walk back to the room without being disruptive. They resent me for this because they don’t like the extra attention from their peers. I have told them that if it goes well for a few weeks that maybe they will get another chance.
I haven’t dealt with too many experiences in older children, but one incident in my childcare days stands out in my mind. I was in a room with toddlers and on a daily basis one of the children was being bitten. The problem was it wasn’t only one child doing the biting, it was about four and we knew who they were, but we couldn’t isolate when or what was causing it. The parent got pretty angry and went over our supervisor to the board which immediately got our backs up. We had to go to classes and set up a plan of action. I was pretty upset, but it made me more aware of situations and made me work harder at doing my job. This was a learning experience for me.
Emily,
ReplyDeleteI haven’t really had to prepare for to many parent/ teacher conferences, but I think that you did a great job with them when you really didn’t have a lot of time.
I have had meetings with parents over concerns and find that if I am prepared they do go pretty smoothly. In my current job we are preparing for conferences right now. We are almost at midterm for the third quarter and some of the parents are wondering why their child is not passing. Most of the students are not handing in their homework or losing it between home and school. I have had many of the students that I work with come to me with the concern. They are scared to ask the teacher for another assignment, but I have found if I stand outside the door they are taking on the responsibility themselves, gaining self-respect, and giving the teacher respect in return.
We have begun to graph their work so that each parent, as well as, the student is able to see the progress. This enables the teacher, student, and parents to work together to achieve higher goals.
One of the things that my school is doing is giving each child in the school a mentor inside the school walls. I have seven students in which I track their progress, graph it, set up goals, call home to give progress reports (once a month positive feedback), and meet with the child twice a month to let them do the graphing. Some of the children are responding to the positive feedback immediately.
One of my children was losing homework; by giving the child folders and an extra binder I had the child was able to keep things together and handed in the assignments this week. I have also made calls home and had very positive feedback. One of the grandparents said that even though they knew that their grandchild wasn’t any trouble it was good to know that they had an advocate at the school, someone they could go to if they needed too. A parent was grateful that I was trying to help diffuse their child’s anger issues with positive feedback on what they did right. Using this program will help teachers by giving them what they need at conferences and by working as a team parents, students, teachers, and staff will all be able to feel successful.
I haven’t been through any school conferences as a teacher yet, but as a parent the best conferences that I have attended were the ones that my children have been there to explain to me what their goals are. I am able to sit back and enjoy the good along with the not so good. I enjoy the teacher’s and child’s comments; I feel this helps everyone achieve success. I am shown good work along with some of the bombs this helps me to understand what I need to do as a parent to help my children reach their goal.
ReplyDeleteI work as a para-educator in a local school and we started toe paw pals. It is a mentoring program for every student. Studies have shown that this works at high-risk schools. It involves graphing the student’s behavior and academic success. The parents are able to see their progress and where they may need help. We are to meet with our students twice a month to graph their success and come up with some goals. We call home to give the parents positive feedback once a month and this encourages parents along with the students. These files will help lessen the load for teachers and give them some hard copies to use at conference time.
In my previous position at the childcare center where I worked, I faced some opposition, but as long as one remained calm it usually went fine. Most of the time my co-workers would ask me to explain situations to parents because I was able to diffuse most situations. If the child would be picked up after I left for the day, I would make a quick call to touch base with a parent. This usually would create a feeling of mutual respect between the staff and families. However, I do remember a situation in which a parent didn’t feel that we were doing enough for their child. The child was bitten once a day on a daily basis even though we knew this we couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. To make matters worse one child wasn’t doing the biting it was one of four. The parent went straight to the board without talking to us or the director and we got called in for a meeting. By not coming to us with the concern it made us a little angry because we felt that we didn’t have the parent respect that we deserved. Once we got over the initial shock of getting called to the board, we all sat down and found a way to make everyone happy. Needless to say, I learned to document items more, collect data, and not drop my guard. In my fifteen years there that was the worst thing that happened. Most of the time if you are able to react calmly the situation is diffused before it gets out of hand.
Holli,
ReplyDeleteIt is always a disappointment when parents do not go to the teachers first with concerns. That's why it's important to establish the relationship with them. As far as conferences go, you'll have a lot of experiences from sitting in on your own kids' conferences. You know which ones were better than the others. I like the idea of toe paws program. It helps the students take more accountability of their work. It would also be nice as parents to be able to see the progress their child was making.
Hey it is supposed to be the paws pals program not toe paws. I didn't catch that when I proof read. Glad I read your comment Emily.
ReplyDeleteI have only done one parent conference on my own which is at my current job with CUCCC. I was really nervous at first because I didn’t really know what to expect during conference time. During the year we keep some documents that the kids work on, and we have a child planning form that is filed in their folders along with any observations that have been taking during the year. Before the conference I send out an evaluation sheet for the parents to fill out on their child and I have one filled out already; which would be used for comparison during the conference time. I then have a goal/strength sheet that gets filled out during the conference time and we discuss the child’s progress and goals. At my one meeting; I believe it went very well. The parent had only nice things to say and didn’t have any concerns.
ReplyDeleteAnna,
ReplyDeleteHaving that first conference go so well has instilled the confidence you need for other conferences that might not go so well. As long as you have documentation to support what you have to say, you'll be good. Conferences are scary depending upon the child and the parents. If a conference doesn't go so well, you'll learn what could have been done better or differently so that the next time it will be better. It is all a learning experience to begin with.
Holli: I just learned about graphing a child's behavior and acedimic needs today:) I am going to be doing my first conferences at the end of April so I will be learning alot of graphing since parents seem to like that very well.
ReplyDeleteI also think calling parents after I leave if there is a situation is a great idea. I had a parent complain about me last week and this week because I don't communicated with that person; but I don't ever see her so I would write notes about the child's behavior problem and then when I did see her she let out a lot of anger towards me. SO from now on if her child is having a bad day I will make sure that I will call her ontop of the notes and make myself availble if she needs to talk to me.
I have not had to do any parent conferences but will be here shortly (i think in May). I am very nervous. I have concerns about a few of the boys in my classroom and don't know how to word it in a positive way. I love the student lead conference it give a parent and child time to sit talk about the school work and goals which is so important.I have started journaling a lot since I started the 2 year old room. I find that it helps me focus on getting better.I plan to start taking pictures and using them with small captions to describe the child's area of learning to prepare for the upcoming conferences. I am also creating a survey to be filled out by a parent and a teacher to compare and discuss.
ReplyDeleteKelli,
ReplyDeleteI think taking pictures of the children is a good idea. You will be able to actually show the parents what the student is doing and how you incorporate things into your lesson plans.
I think the survey is a good idea, also. The parents will be prepared and it will give you insight into what the parent is thinking. Parent feedback is always good and creates a feeling of success for the student, teacher, and the parent. Good ideas.
seeing if this works!!
ReplyDeleteAnnystel,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like to handled the situation in a positive way. I think our center have the same idea on how to show progress. I like the evaluation form you send out, I guess this will be our first year to have a parent and teacher both fill one out in order to compare. I am getting great ideas from the blogs.
I think in preparing for conferences I would start off by having students evaluate their own work. Throughout the semester I would keep a portfolio of each student’s major assignments, and let them look through their own work prior to conferences. I might have them fill out their own report card as well, and then journal about why they gave themselves the grades they chose. I would also let the students know that these journal entries would be read to their parents on conference night.
ReplyDeleteHopefully my relationship with most parents will be pretty good, but a couple weeks before conferences I will make sure to send out a letter reminding them of the upcoming meeting. During the conferences I want to create a relaxed atmosphere where both students and parents feel comfortable to ask questions, voice concerns, and create academic and behavioral goals for the student. As a teacher I will make sure I’m armed with DATA. I don’t want parents pulling grades and other ideas about their child from thin air. Some student’s files might be bigger than others, but I want it all right there at my fingertips. I might also want the principal’s number on speed dial for any possible unruliness that might occur with disgruntled guardians.
Again, I can’t say that I’ve ever had an official conference with parents. I do talk to the parents of the two boys I’m working with to meet my credentials for my reading endorsement. Of course the kids are really excelling with their reading since working one-on-one with me; so most of our interactions are full of smiles and optimism. Don’t get me wrong, I do deal with LOTS of dumb parents every day (I do work in a school). I’m just not at the teacher to parent level…yet.
The only time I ever really dealt with a stupid parent was when I was seventeen and teaching swimming lessons. I didn’t pass a student of mine onto the next level because he couldn’t do a front stroke to save his life. Well I knew that the next level involved swimming laps in the pool…lots of laps. Well the mother thought I was an idiot for not passing her child. Of course I was a teenager and probably didn’t deal with the situation the best. I basically told her “Do what whatever you want lady…obviously you know a lot more about swimming than I do…” I won’t even mention the words I said when I finally walked away from her.
Needless to say, as a teacher, we must always be professional. Parents are going to get emotional about their kids. I’m a daddy now, and I know all about that. So let parents get emotional. Just stay calm, be informed, and do the best you can for that student.
Holli- I liked reading about you children’s conferences. I’ve heard about conferences where children pretty much lead the discussion, but I’ve never been a part of one personally. It sounds like parents get a lot of insight from these types of conferences, and understanding about what their child needs academically. I think this a great method for having kids own up to their successes and letdowns in the presence of both their parents and teacher.
ReplyDeleteEmily- I agree with you about the kid…he probably is in jail, and “shaking hands” with other inmates. Honestly, I think you dealt with the whole situation about the same way I would of. When a person busts into your bubble and wrongfully accuses you of something…for some reason those natural instincts kick in, and you just want to kick some ass. Of course we aren’t in the Army any more, and as educators we have to be professional. You’re suggestions were right on track; get the principal, and then talk. They get paid a lot more money to facilitate those kinds of conversations.
ReplyDeleteA successful conference will be more productive when teacher, parent, and student are prepared and each knows what to expect. Preparing students involves discussing the goals of conferences and allowing them to ask questions and express their concerns. Another aspect of a successful conference is providing students with an opportunity for self evaluation which provides students with a sense of significance, competence, and power.
ReplyDeleteThere are two methods for preparing parents for a conference. One includes a back-to-school night, a phone call, and several notes home on their child’s progress. Second, about one week before the conference, send the parents a note as a reminder and provide them with an agenda.
Teacher presentation is the most important. First, the teacher should adequately prepare the student and parent for the conference. Second, teachers should acquire, organize, and present data about the student. Third, the teacher should create a comfortable, relaxed atmosphere. Parents should be encouraged to ask questions and make comments. The teacher should conclude by summarizing the student’s academic and behavior strengths and goals.
I have not had the chance to have or sit-in on a parent-teacher conference regarding a student.
Scott-I think the self evaulation would work great for upper elementary and higher. Seeing what students have to say about themselves would be very interesting. I also think having a good relationship with parents from the start would make conference time so much easier. Because than hopefully you can feel comfortable telling the parents anything that is going on with thier child rather it is good or bad.
ReplyDeleteChad,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the self evaluation. Austin had to do one for his conferences(7-8th) and it was very interesting to see how he rated himself compared to his teachers. Ayden's conference the other night also started the self eval. and it was interesting to see the maturity in his answer from the fall to the spring. It probably had a lot to knowing, learning, and practicing the rules and how well he does at following them. I enjoyed the conference a lot more when it is interesting to me. I will have to keep that in mind for my future parents too.
I have never had to do parent-teacher conferences since I am not a teacher yet, so the only experience I have to draw on are from those I've heard my wife discuss. She is in her first year of teaching and has gone through conferences once, and very successfully at that. For her first year, to prepare she went to fellow teachers and asked for suggestions. In doing so, she was able to get a lot of materials that helped greatly. One thing she did was send home a letter about a week or so before conferences that was called "Homework for Parents." It had a very brief questionnaire the parents answered in just a few words/a sentence. It would ask things such as, How does your child feel about school? What is their favorite thing? Worst favorite thing? Do you have any concerns about your child? Do you have any questions? and so on. This gives the parents time to really think about how THEY and their student feels about school and whether or not they should approach the teacher with anything. This also gives the teacher an excellent idea of what to expect at the conference and be prepared with the right materials. My wife had a parent once write down that their student expressed concern about grammar being a hard subject for them. She had no idea about this so at conferences she discussed it with them (and the child had come along with the parent) and come to find out, he had trouble seeing the board/overhead projector screen because he never wore his glasses to school. She had no idea he even wore glasses. It was great to have the parent communicate with their son beforehand otherwise this issue could have continued on longer as the student was too shy to tell the teacher to issue. My wife also has a student with autism in her class and the parents are divorced and do not get along. Because she was nervous/worried about their joint conference, she had the principal sit in on the conference with her incase a problem were to arise. She made sure to make copies of everything in the file for both parents to take home. She allowed both parents to say their concerns/questions and made sure to make contact with each of them equally and it ended up going just fine. My wife also had the students grade themselves behaviorally and academically using a "Always" "Sometimes" "Never" type of scale. She has them grade themselves and then she wrote her own personal grade next to it. This went over really well and the parents really enjoyed seeing it. Just being relaxed, having things organized, and be specific (straightforward and not beating around the bush or leading on) are some great things to remember with conferences.
ReplyDeleteI think the best way to prepare for conferences is have the students do a special project that they can show off at conferences. I know at Orchard Hill 2bd grade they worked really hard on a dinosaur research paper. Once they wrote the final draft they drew a picture of the dinosaur the reacher attached them to a colorful piece of construction paper and displayed them in the hall way. the students were very excited about showing these to thier parents. Also I think communication with the parents is key. Give options when scheduling, and also reminder phone calls and emials would be helpful. I know I have scheduled conferences and then forget. With my students it is very hard to get the parents to come to conferences. I think because they are behavior students the parents think you are going to say bad things about their kids. We tried last time to send a positive note home and then asked the parents to come in so we could talk about all the awesome things their child is doing. We had two show up which wasn't great but it was better than none.
ReplyDelete